Dear Wells Fkin Fargo,
I’m gonna pay my damn mortgage today, okay, so quit having a cow. It’s not easy out here in middle-class land. [God save the lower income folks.] But you’ve been so damn crappy since two days after it was due [ya know there's a 12 day grace period, right? I mean, you wrote the fukin documents.]
So you’ve been pounding me with phone calls begging me to call you guys back for about 25 days now. And I really want to say fk it and not pay, but I HAVE NEVER MISSED A PAYMENT. So WTF? Why are you treating me like I’m skipping town when I’m a great fkin customer. With a half-way descent credit score, considering.
So, I just wanted to say, I fkin hate your harassing practices. And as much as I’d like to take my mortgage elsewhere, it would probably be sold right back to you. So fk you. I’m paying today. And I know it’s late. And I know you will start calling me before the weekend for the next payment.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, the number you have is my Google Voice number. It doesn’t even ring my phone. I get an email that you called again. I kinda like hearing your minions and robots leaving their angry or desperate messages. But mostly I just clear my Google Voice inbox and ignore the emails I’m getting about your harassment.
I’m paying today, but I fukin HATE YOU.
I AM THE 99% YOU FKERS!
J Mercurial.
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